Now the Dictionary Is an Enemy Too?

http://www.bilerico.com/2010/01/whats_next_banning_the_dictionary_oh_wait.php

Read the article at the link above.  It's short, I promise.

I learned about sex in a book that my mother bought me.  I liked to read, so she thought I would understand it best from that, and she made sure that I knew that if I had any questions, I could ask.  (I didn't.)  While the book was great for explaining things, I learned a lot more about sex and my body in middle school and high school from my friends than I did from that book, which was written as a basic introduction: this is what traditional "sex" is, this is how women get pregnant, etc.

Unfortunately, because I heard things from my peers, much of the information I had was incorrect - and there was a lot more that I never learned about until late high school and even up until recently.  The book didn't explain "untraditional" means of sex: anal sex, oral sex, sex between same genders, etc.  That I learned from my friends.

My parents raised my very well.  They always treated me maturely and let me read things far above my age range because I was at a higher level - and they made sure that I understood the world.  But this is one subject that my parents didn't teach me well, and I think that's unfortunate.  I felt stupid when my friends talked about stuff that I'd never heard of before, and I didn't want to ask and betray my ignorance, so I usually pretended I knew what was up.  I know that my parents never meant for this to happen, they just never thought of talking about that with me.  Had they known that I didn't understand these things, I have full confidence that they would have explained them to me - I just never asked.  My parents censored me, yes, but it was not intentional.

But many parents aren't like mine.  They censor their children on purpose.  This is what is truly unfortunate.  In my experience, those children who grow up censored from sex and sexual activities are the ones who are usually the most sexually active in their mid to late teen years.  Once they discover sex, it's intriguing and they want to know more, while children whose parents tell them everything about sex - not just how it's done, but the emotions and feelings (good and bad) - are at least more prepared if they do have sex.  And it is the informed children who usually practice safe sex - because it is the informed children who are told about condoms and birth control and other contraceptives, how they work and how they should be used.

All of this was set up to be able to say this:  censorship sucks, especially when it comes to information regarding sex.  My parents introduced me to the basics, but they also relied on the sex education in the schools - which in Oklahoma, don't do anything other than showing pictures of diseased genitals and warning that abstinence is the only way to prevent pregnancy.  I learned about everything else from my peers and from reading, which is sad to me.  Parents should not let that happen to their child.  Even if you believe in waiting until you are married to have sex, you can still teach your child about sex.  In fact, stressing the emotional impact of the act might make them actually wait.  Keeping them in the dark does no favors, people.

So please, if/when you become a parent and it comes time to tell your child about sex, tell them everything.  Don't just talk about how a woman gets pregnant - talk about how she can prevent that from happening.  Don't let your child learn about other sexual acts from friends at school - tell them what anal, oral, same-gender sex, and masturbation are.  So what if it's embarrassing?  It'll be more embarrassing for your child if they don't know what their friends are talking about, and it'll be more embarrassing for you if your child ends up pregnant or getting some pregnant because they didn't know how to use contraceptives.