Valentine's Day and Assumptions

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, there’s been an increase in a lot of things: the sale of “romantic” items like flowers and chocolate, the complaints that the day is just a corporate scam, the people who insist on calling it “Single’s Awareness Day,” and, of course, the number of articles, blogs, and general talk about what every guy should do for his girl February 14^th.

I’m going to skip all that.  You’ve heard it before, and nothing I say would be new, or frankly, very interesting.

What I am going to talk about is something else I’ve seen an increase in lately, but something that nonetheless is popular throughout the year as well.  “A Must-Read: 101 Things Guys NEED to Know About Girls.”  You know, the ones where people assume that all girls are the same and like the same things, not to mention that the only relationships worth having are those between males and females.  They’re usually the ones with horrible grammar and spelling.  I’m sure you’ve heard some of the stuff on the list: 11. Girls love it when you play with their hair, 21. Girls love babies, 82. A girl gets annoyed by a guy who pushes himself too hard to get her.

First of all, let me say that these are ridiculous.  It is a list of things that the person who wrote it likes or does or wants, not a list of things that every single girl likes or does or wants.

#12: The girl who gives a quick “yes” could either be too impulsive.  Yes, that is the complete statement.  She could either be impulsive… or what?  I’m going to fill in the blank in two ways.  What I think the author was going for: “or easy.”  What I think the answer is: “she likes you a lot.”  Other options include: “there is a creepy guy following her and she wants him to think she has a boyfriend so he’ll stop,” “she thought you were offering to give her a bunch of money.”

#14: It’s really hard to trace why girls are unpredictable.  Uh, isn’t that the point of unpredictability?  That aside, I know many girls who are extremely predictable, myself included.

#23: Girls don’t take a full meal, especially when they are on a diet.  Obviously this person has never seen me and my friends together.

#29: Girls aren’t necessarily after an extremely tall guy, just someone taller than her.  I have many, many friends who have dated guys who are shorter than them.  I know women who have married men shorter than they are.  The “guy has to be taller” thing is stupid, and most girls know it.  If you’re the right guy, then it doesn’t matter how tall you are.

#31: Girls who court guys are desperate.  Or they just really like the guy and don’t give a damn about traditional gender roles in society.

#47: Girls cry easily.  Not true at all.  I rarely cry, and when I do, it’s not always because something is horribly wrong.  Turning to my female friends, most of them do not cry often, because they think it’s a sign of weakness and they don’t want to show that.  Girls that cry easily are just as common as girls who never cry.

#60: Girls are generally better at subjects like languages and social sciences than math and general sciences.  At least this one said “generally.”  But, generalizations are not always true.  That’s like saying, “Generally, guys are good at math and science.”  Tell that to the boys in my English classes.

#63: Girls have legions of insecurities.  As do men.

#77: Psychologists proved that a girl, when molested at a young age, loses her self esteem and develops a negative attitude toward people.  Maybe they proved that “a” girl did that, but everyone reacts to molestation and trauma differently.  Many victims – of both sexes – actually become more outgoing as a shield.  Low self-esteem does correlate with abuse, but again, there are typical cases and non-typical ones.  Also, low self-esteem and a negative attitude does not mean molestation.

#91: A girl can make you wait for years courting her, but eventually give you a “no” in the long run.  Any girl who does this is a bitch and is not representative of the general female population.

#97: High-heels increase a girls’ poise on the catwalk.  This person needs to watch some of my friends try to walk in heels.

#100: Unless a girl enters nursing, biology, or medical courses or professions, she will always have that irk from seeing blood and will always repel to see, smell, or hear disgusting stuff.  I think this may be the worst one.  I am a psychology, English, and political science major, and I can stand the sight of blood more than many of my friends who are on the track into the medical field.  I like war movies, which have a lot of gore. 

I could go on and on, but these are my “favorites.”  Basically what I’m saying is that these lists are stupid.  Anyone who is looking for a date needs to know this: every person is different.  Go with what feels right to you, and don’t change because some stupid list tells you that you need to be more outgoing or romantic.  There are people who think shyness is adorable, and there are people who hate romance.  Go find one of them instead.